I'm Outta Here

It has come to my attention that my 8 year old acts more like a teenager then I would like to admit. Now I know that with ADHD comes a slue of other issues and I have accepted that fact as a part of our lives but I can not and will not accept defiance as a part of life. I’m not talking about my little girl forgetting what I just said or not thinking before she acts, I’m talking about blatant disregard for anything I have to say or ask her to do. The fact of the matter is, my child is too smart for her own good and as such at the precious age of 8 she now finds that she would much rather do her own thing and to hell with anything I would like for her to do if she isn’t in the mood to do it. She has used the I don’t understand card enough to know that I don’t buy what she is selling, and she knows that I don’t always give in to her repetitive pleas so she has taken up a new strategy. I have to admit, it is clever but it won’t work. She now threatens to move out, which as funny as it is watching her pack her things, I do worry about if she will be in her room every morning. So far we have had some laughs out of her threats to move out, her reasons are quite amusing and we have hid her bags in various spots throughout the house in an attempt to get her distracted. I have had some success in convincing her to stay by telling her I will miss her but eventually something gets her upset and she starts packing once again. I have told her that it is illegal for someone her age to move out and I have tried telling her that her favourite stuffed bunny would miss her but my attempts seem to go in one ear and out the other stopping midway to reveal a smart comeback that I wish I had thought of when I was 16 threatening to move out. The last “I’m moving out” threat had me worried more then any other because nothing I said made a difference and every time I said I missed her or tried to stump her with “how will you do/pay for/get this” questions she immediately had what seemed like a well thought out plan followed by a “well I will come visit so you don’t have to miss me”. By that point I had run out of places to hide her luggage, reasons for her to not leave and questions for her to answer. My solution? I put on my shoes and followed her out the door! She got half way through the yard before getting annoyed with my being faster than she is before she picked up her bike, hooked the handle of her suitcase to the bike handle and tried rising off. Luckily she had to stop to open the gate and that is when I caught her by her pants. Not my proudest moment as a mom but an effective one none the less. I held her by the back of the pants and pleaded with her to stay, then threatened to call the police if she left then ultimately I dragged her back into the house with the neighbours watching and listening intently as she yelled at me to let her go so she can leave before it gets too dark. Her reason for leaving? I didn’t take her to the park. In my defence, she didn’t ask to go to the park so I didn’t know that is what she wanted and it took a good 3 hours of my nonstop asking why she was leaving to get it out of her. Finally long past bedtime she gave in, said she would stay then went to bed. While she was sleeping I couldn’t help but stay awake in my bed, watching the doorway for any sign that she was awake and leaving again. Eventually sleep took over and I passed out waking to the alarm in a panic running to her room to see if she was in her bed, thankfully she was so I quietly left the room and went about my morning. Her defiance doesn’t stop there, she has learned some choice words to call me when she is mad, she gives me the finger and likes to slap me when she doesn’t get her way. Another of her favourite things to do is stick her tongue out at me and say bla bla bla when I’m talking, among making a point to do the exact opposite of what I say and starting fights with her older brother. Its not just me she defies either, she refuses to listen in class, she ignores her father and snickers at her baba while doing what she knows will upset everyone. I do my best to tell people not to take her actions personally but I can tell that a lot of people do take it personally. For me the worst act of defiance is her talking back and saying no when I ask her to do something but as long as she isn’t moving out I can ignore her attempts to get under my skin. She may be 8 going on 9 but it seems like she is 8 going on 18! Let’s hope that this is just a phase.