ipsy glam bag arrives in mail!!!

My mom and I got an ipsy Glam bag in the mail and I am not used to makeup! So we both tried the Glam bag contents which was, highlighter, eye shadow, lip balm with red algae, eye shadow with brush to apply it with and red sparkly lipgloss! Although we didn't get much in the bag we both liked it. I got the majority, I loved all of the contents in the bag and I would rate it 9/10.
My mom gave me some other makeup that she doesn't use and I experimented with different eyeshadows, eyeliner, the Glam lipgloss, and some mascara. The Glam bag contents alone did a good job by themselves.
Mom and I both agree that it is better using different makeups and experimenting. We are very happy that it arrived and we are very excited to get another one next month!!!

Learning Life Lessons

Now that Krazy Caity is twelve she is becoming a strong independent woman... At least she thinks she is but every parent knows, a twelve year old is not even close to becoming an adult, they are headstrong children that think they are more capable than they actually are.

Recently I have allowed her a lot more freedom to go to dances, school events, community events and regular trips to the library. During her freedom she has met some new people and started making friends, unfortunately for her not everyone she meets is as nice as they may seem and this lesson is being learned the hard way.

Krazy Caity has met a girl her age, they hit it off and hung out quite a bit out in the community. This new friend introduced Caity to some exciting news books.... Japanese manga.

Caity brought home three pretty graphic books with boy on boy themes and some very detailed drawings in them, which did have a warning label on them that sated they were adult only and contained graphic content.
I immediately laughed because Caity thought they were just Japanese comics, she didn't actually flip through them before bringing them home.

My husband and I explained to Caity what these books really were and after some discussion and laughs she agreed to return the books to the library.
I wish I could say this is the end of this lesson but it isn't.
Yes Caity learned a lesson, she will definitely be more careful when checking out books and will stay away from the adult section at the library from now on, but that's only half of the lesson.

We discovered quite by accident that Caity wasn't the only one who checked out those manga books, her new friend took three of them as well, only she didn't check them out using her own card, she took them out on Caity's card.

This girl told Caity that she didn't want her parents to know that she took these books and Caity being the nieve, good natured girl that she is, didn't think twice about letting this girl use her card.
Unfortunately the due date for these books has come and gone and this new friend was nowhere to be found. Caity tried calling and texting and going every day to their usual hang outs but this girl seemed to have vanished off the face of the planet.

Now as parents we have a couple options in this situation, we could simply renew these books until they are returned by this girl, or we can let Caity learn a valuable life lesson about trust and have her pay her friends late fees.
Of course we choose the latter. We decided that this was the right time for Caity to learn all about trust. As much as we hate to see our daughter go through situations like these it is important for her to understand that she can't trust everyone, even when that person is a new friend.

The end result of this is Caity not being allowed to take anything out from the library until the books her friend has are returned and of course, she will have to use her weekly allowance to pay the late fees, if the books are ever actually returned. If the books never get returned then we will make a trip to the library, explain the situation to the librarian and buy the books as well as pay late fees... This has the potential to be an expensive life lesson.

Caity is taking this rather well, as upset as she is about the situation, she understands that she made a mistake and has been doing her best to get a hold of this girl so the books can be returned. She even has the intention of telling this girl that she has to pay late fees and getting this girl to pay her back for them.

Caity did catch a passing glimpse of this girl at the mall and proceeded to run through the mall calling out to her until she caught up. This girl has now been informed that the books she has are overdue, the girl acted as though it was no big deal and said that she might be able to drop them off the following Friday. When she was told that she would have to pay Caity for the late fees the girl walked away leaving Caity frustrated.

At this point, I'm guessing that we will be making that trip to the library to buy the books and pay off the late fees ourselves, I have my doubts that this girl will come through for Caity in returning the books at all.

Park Play

We are fortunate enough to live next to a great park and on top of that, we happen to have a youth drop in program at our park during the summer.
Monday to Friday in the afternoon children of all ages from our community can stop by the "Green Shack" at the park to play.

Our green shack literally is a green shack next to the playground. The program is run by the city and has a youth leader there that gets the community children together playing games, building sand castles, having water fights and doing crafts. It is a really great program and most of the kids in our community look forward to it every year.
This year we are letting Krazy Caity go to the green shack program all by herself as part of her earning trust and learning to be responsible. I gave the program leader my phone number and explained Krazy Caitys disorders to him as a precaution before I let Caity go. So far things are going extremely well!

Getting along with other children and participating in group activities is not so easy for kids with ADHD so I have been expecting the worst. Fortunately things have been going much better than expected so far. Caity is participating in most of the activities and has been learning to remove herself from the group when she starts to feel overwhelmed. All in all great news, zero issues and lots of learning has been happening. Things were going great right up until yesterday... The day the community kids got to pain the Green Shack. The rules are simple, pain the shack and not each other. It seems as though some of the kids in the community, including our dear Krazy Caity, decided that painting Caity was more entertaining.

The aftermath of this event was something none of us will soon forget. 
The first thing we did upon seeing Krazy Caity was ask her why she let the other kids paint her. Then I took her straight to the shower, which was fine until we had to wash the sand and paint off of her face. It took well over ten minutes of spraying, washing, wiping and crying to get the paint off.

Krazy Caity explained to me that she didn't just come home on her own, she was sent home by the youth leader. It turns out that while she thought it was funny to begin with, after a while being painted by other children wasn't so fun. When Caity asked the kids to stop painting her they didn't listen and started painting her clothes as well.

As with most ADHD kids, becoming overwhelmed with a situation doesn't take much and Krazy Caity is no different. Things at the park went from fun to overwhelming to scary for Caity really fast. While being sent home is never fun for kids, it really was best for Caity and she was thankful to have the leader take charge and remove her from the situation.
When she got home her senses and emotions were overloaded. It took a long time to get her calm enough to explain what happened but once she started explaining the situation she realized that she could have avoided becoming overwhelmed. 
After a long discussion she explained that the reason she didn't remove herself was because she let herself become overwhelmed and felt out of control. She did point out how she can avoid those feelings and gave great examples of what she should have done.
This gives me hope that in the future, Krazy Caity will be able to recognize when she is becoming overwhelmed and will hopefully be able  to deal with these feelings. For now we are working on recognizing feelings and letting Caity explain to us how she feels and what she can do about it. One day at a time.

At The Dentist

Krazy Caity has to have some teeth pulled :( apparently she needs to have her bicuspids removed in order for some other teeth to have room to grow in properly. As most parents know, having teeth removed for any child can be difficult and scary but for children with ADHD and/or sensory issues dental work is a very traumatic experience. Some children like Krazy Caity have a difficult time telling the difference between pressure and pain, this makes for a very scary dental experience.

Even though she is frozen, Krazy Caity cries and stops the dentist multiple times due to "pain" what she really is feeling is pressure but she is unable to tell the difference and perceives them the same. This can be frustrating for any dentist but thankfully our dentist knows all about ADHD. He is gentle, kind and understanding, reassuring Caity that there is nothing to be afraid about and continuing to stop every time she panics. Even though we can only do one tooth at a time I am thankful that we have such a wonderful dentist to go to.

We would have all the teeth pulled at once if it wasn't for Krazy Caity stopping so many times during a single extraction but thankfully our dentist understands our situation. So far we have had two teeth pulled and need to have three more done.

Considering how scary going to the dentist can be, Krazy Caity was a champ and pushed through getting her teeth pulled despite being scared. In fact, she did so well the tooth fairy decided to pay her for her teeth in advance.

If you would like to share your own dentist experience with email your stories to us at GrowingUpADHD@outlook.com Share your stories in the comments or visit our facebook page.

A Day In The Life of Mom

Life with any child can be difficult, throw in ADHD, ODD and OCD then your life suddenly becomes a roller coaster ride going at top speed with no seatbelt. You are going to get thrown in every direction imaginable and deal with things you never though possible. Throughout this roller coaster ride you will find yourself saying things you would have never dreamed possible like, “please don’t eat money…. no, more will not come out” and “we don’t pee on the floor just because puppy does doesn’t mean it’s OK for you to do”. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are experiencing is real because you feel like you are in a bad dream unable to wake from it. Then for some unknown reason you are suddenly given a day when nothing happens and everything seems perfect. You don’t have to get off the toilet early to break up a fight or search a bedroom for the missing hairspray. These days you don’t spend countless hours handing out reminders or searching for a shoe that was just at the door. These “perfect” days you spend anxiously waiting for something to happen, then when nothing does happen you spend your night restlessly going over the day trying to find that one thing that did go wrong that you missed. You go over everything, check on things you know you don’t have to and spend the rest of your night focusing on the ceiling, why? Because your mind and body just can not seem to comprehend what happened during the day, you are too used to having to run around all day. The next day, if you slept at all, you wake to the sound of something breaking or to someone yelling, as you sleepily look at the clock you realize it’s only 6am. Right then and there you envy yourself from the day before and swear the next good day you have you will not waste it. You drag yourself from bed and clean up whatever broke or break up the fight in an attempt to make coffee and get your kids breakfast. Its then that you learn, your darling child woke up minutes after you fell asleep and fixed their own breakfast, milk, cereal and sugar. You find this out of course because there is no milk left, because you little one poured a bowl of cereal, forgot about the milk then poured it down the drain because warm milk is icky. What is left of the sugar is now on the floor because your darling child tried filling the sugar bowl but was interrupted and frightened by the cat, which of course caused the sugar to all fall to the floor. After cleaning up the sugar you decide, like it or not, you have to get to the store to replace what needs replacing, so you round up the kids. Spend an hour finding shoes, then clothes, then shoes again then you struggle to get the kids out the door in one direction. You try to make this necessary trip as quick as possible, longing for that cup of coffee you desperately need but by the time you get home and start to pour your coffee you realize the coffee is cold and the kids are wanting lunch. Looking at the clock you are dumbfounded to see it is already after noon and as you leave the cold coffee to make lunch you wonder where the time went. Your day continues as usual, cleaning spills, breaking up fights, searching for lost items and reminding your ADHD child why jumping off the roof is not a good idea. By the time night hits, the family is full, the house is a disaster and all you want is for the kids to stay quietly in their own rooms but your day isn’t over just yet. You spend your evening cleaning up the mess and sending your child back to their room. Finally you get a chance to watch a t.v show of your choosing, struggling to keep your eyes open long enough to watch. As you doze off from sheer exhaustion you are awakened by the sound of your ADHD child out of their room again, you open your mouth to tell them to go to bed when they hug you, hand you a home made envelope, give you a kiss, say good night and run off to bed. It is at the very moment, upon opening the envelope that you remember not only why you love your kids no matter the chaos they cause, but also how sweet and innocent they really are. You remember why you run yourself ragged daily for them and you realize that without your children, life wouldn’t be worth living. Inside that envelope is something special, made just for you. You have had notes that say “I love you” a hundred times before but this one is special. Maybe it’s the effort put into coloring a misshaped butterfly, or the amount of hearts or maybe it’s the cute curls put onto every letter, it doesn’t matter because this is not just a note, it is love. You proudly display it on the refrigerator and as you turn out the light you take one last look at the love that is spilling out of every corner of the house and you can’t help but think that no matter how painful and stressful life is, you would, without question, go to the end of the earth and back again for your kids. You go to bed well after you should have with a smile on your face and you tell yourself that tomorrow will be a good day. You just manage to fall asleep when you are woken up by the crash of something falling to the floor and you cringe at the thought of not getting sleep as you pry yourself from bed. You walk out of your room, quickly glancing at the clock to see the time when you stop dead in your tracks, you rub your eyes and look again in disbelief, hoping that you read the time wrong but you didn’t. You have been asleep for hours not seconds and a new day has started weather you are ready for it or not. You are snapped back to reality by the voice of your child outside your door, asking if you can take them to the park. This is your life, frustration, exhaustion and stress built on a foundation of innocence and love. You know deep down that you wouldn’t trade it for anything, although you swear to yourself, the next calm day you get will be spent relaxing but we all know the truth, that day will be spent like all the others, wondering what you missed.

Our Puppy

If you follow our facebook or twitter you know by now that we recently got a new puppy. We have named her Rolo and she isn’t just any old puppy, we plan on having her certified as a Therapy Dog. If you don’t know what a therapy dog is, here is a bit of info stolen from the Wiki page: A therapy dog is a dog trained to provide affection and comfort to people in hospitals, retirement homes, nursing homes, schools, hospices, people with learning difficulties, and stressful situations, such as disaster areas. Therapy dogs come in all sizes and breeds. The most important characteristic of a therapy dog is its temperament. A good therapy dog must be friendly, patient, confident, gentle, and at ease in all situations. Therapy dogs must enjoy human contact and be content to be petted and handled, sometimes clumsily. A therapy dog’s primary job is to allow unfamiliar people to make physical contact with it and to enjoy that contact. Children in particular enjoy hugging animals; adults usually enjoy simply petting the dog. The dog might need to be lifted onto, or climb onto, an individual’s lap or bed and sit or lie comfortably there. Many dogs contribute to the visiting experience by performing small tricks for their audience or by playing carefully structured games. In hospice environments, therapy dogs can play a role in palliative care by reducing death anxiety. Although we have no intention of having our Rolo go visit hospitals for others outside of our immediate family we feel that having her certified as a therapy dog will be beneficial to our daughter as this will give Rolo the right to accompany our daughter places she may not be allowed in without certification. You might be asking yourself, how can someone who has an extreme ADHD, OCD, ODD daughter possibly have the time or patience to take on training a puppy to be a therapy dog? Well I will be the first to tell you, it isn’t easy. Life with an ADHD child is a balancing act to begin with and adding a puppy of any breed into the mix can make things for any family harder. Some things to take into consideration when adding a puppy into your ADHD family are: Dog Breed. All puppies are cute and loving but take some serious time to consider full grown size of the breed you choose, the general breeds temperament and the breeds intelligence. While smaller dogs may seem like a great option due to their size, some smaller breeds have a tenancy to bite. Intelligence is another thing you must consider when choosing a puppy for your ADHD family. Don’t just look for the worlds smartest dog breeds, consider what you want your puppy to be. Are you looking for a friendly companion or are you looking for a highly trainable guardian for your child? Lastly, once you have decided on what puppy you want, take the time to visit the puppy you would like to buy. Consider the puppies temperament during your visits, do they bite and chew on you? Are they able to relax and sit or lay next to you or your child? And most importantly, how does the puppy react to your ADHD child? These are all things you should consider before buying a puppy for your ADHD family. As easily as it is to instantly fall in love with a puppy seriously consider the compatibility of your family, ADHD children especially, and your chosen puppy. Nothing is more heart breaking for a child to have their excitement of getting a puppy crushed by the puppies incompatibility with them. We chose a Border Collie crossed with a German Shepherd due to both breeds intelligence levels, workmanship and general temperament. Our puppy especially likes to sit next to our children and just hand out. Although she is just a puppy and will chew or nip, she has a very calm temperament and can be hugged, kissed, pet and poked endlessly without becoming annoyed or upset. Even when my girl picks her up the wrong way and accidentally hurts Rolo, Rolo remains calm and shows her annoyance by whimpering. Once my girl puts Rolo down, Rolo immediately goes towards my girl and licks her showing she understands her being hurt was simply an accident. Rolo being highly trainable is picking up quickly on how our house works, she understands that she is one of the kids, she knows where her things are and she is already learning how to walk with the children to and from school, making a point to stop and sit before crossing the road even if the kids do not. Rolo also plays differently with my girl then she does with my son, understanding that my girl needs to play running games where as my son would much rather play tug of war. She even picks up on my girls emotions and makes a point to sit with her and give kisses when my girl is feeling down but unwilling to say so.

Lonely Road to Alternative Therapy

As any family dealing with ADHD we have seen doctors, specialists, psychologists and social workers in an attempt to 1: get a true definitive diagnosis of all medical conditions, learning disabilities and other disorders associated with ADHD. 2: find help for our family in seeking out treatment options and financial assistance to assist with costs associated with therapies, recreational activities and dietary needs. The answers we get are shockingly underwhelming! Not only does there seem to be no real testing that can be done, we seem to always get the same answer “yes your daughter does present as a candidate for ADHD and ODD” and “you can medicate her or not medicate her” then we are given the same basic info package with website links, helpful ‘tips’ and reasons why medication is the ‘top choice among medical professionals’. No information is given about recreational opportunities, alternative therapies, special needs assistance options for school or financial benefits although all of these opportunities and supports exist. If you don’t know what there is in forms of alternative therapy, recreation, school support or financial assistance yet you would like to avoid medicating your child don’t expect that sort of information to be handed to you. You have to spend your time seeking out the assistance and therapies on your own. Once you decide what you would like to do, you have to apply, get your doctor to make a recommendation and hope you get approved. We will be posting more information on alternate therapies, what they are and their benefits in a future post.